god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
