nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
