Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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