I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
