Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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