did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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