U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize