dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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