If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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