i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
