To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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