i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize