he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
