someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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