as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
