Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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