Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
