if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your cock deserves a montage
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
