don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We need to get me chipped asap
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
