you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
