yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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