Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
