Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
