now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
