Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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