the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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