She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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