How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize