So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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