thus making me awesome and them whores
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
