idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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