And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
