so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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