so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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