This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize