Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
