I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
