Me too!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
