I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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