you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
