trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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