it was like having sex with a tree stump
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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