part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
