Pappa wants mamma naked
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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