NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
God, I missed his penis.
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