Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
