You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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