So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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