Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
