we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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