my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
