He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
