Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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