Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
