Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
