This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
