so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
