btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You did what with his pubic hair?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
