I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
